so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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