Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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