I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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