the condom got lost in my hair
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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