He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize