Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize