the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
