Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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