I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
