Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
love makes seman taste better
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
