i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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