Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
