You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
