But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
