i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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