a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
