The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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