Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
50% drunk capacity currently
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
