Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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