I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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