I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
