Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
