I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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