there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
