Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
