So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize