I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
