elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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