Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
