i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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