mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
