we have pet lesbian snakes
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
two words: eviction party
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
