you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
