All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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