dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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