plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
