And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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