when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
