STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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