if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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