we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
