He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
