there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
