WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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