I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
