dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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