She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
