Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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