I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
