It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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