He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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