i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
