I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize