I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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