you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
