I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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