he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
