I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
