you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
