ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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