i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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