hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
